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Do I need this? Or do I just want it?

Have you ever received a gift and it was the very thing that you asked for, but it just looked...different? It was much bigger on the picture, but it looks so small in your hands now. It was much shinier on television, but it looks pretty dull when you see it in person. Sometimes, the very thing that you thought you wanted was nothing like you'd imagined it to be. With objects, most of the time, you can "return to sender". But, with life, it's not always that simple.

We often long for things that we've never had the privilege of experiencing for ourselves. We hear stories about other peoples' adventures and experiences and, depending on how appealing it is to us, we want in. Meditating on those things become very easy to do, too. Once something is in our head and heart, it is considered a done deal. All of our time, effort, money, and attention goes towards that thing.

Don't get me wrong. There is nothing wrong with having your heart set on something. Desires are natural to have. It is what we desire that can be our downfall. We have to ask ourselves, "What is it about this that I really want? Why do I want it?" The answers to these questions will determine where our heart is. Not for the sake of being hard on yourself for wanting the wrong things, but more so to protect your from something that is not good for you or the people around you. We're not perfect.

It is very disappointing to want something for so long only to be displeased once you get it. The measure of the disappointment is determined by how hard you had to work to get it. Usually, sacrifices have been made, money has been well spent, and other people may have been neglected all because your attention went to what you were focused on. And that is time that you cannot get back.

So ask yourself, "Why do I want this?" It could be anything. Not just stuff. It could simply be a relationship with a particular person that you've had your eye on. If your "why" has anything to do with a self motive, then it is likely that the satisfaction of it will soon go away. It's like a kid who saw the same commercial for a toy over and over until he wanted it. He thought that he needed that toy! He begged and pleaded for it because it gave the appearance of being something that he thought he couldn't do without. But, once he had it, once he played with it for a little while, he got bored and wanted something else. The toy didn't provide anything long-term. It was just for temporary gratification. But, the toy is still lingering around the house, so every now and then, he feels obligated to play with it. That's how some relationships are when you are unhappy and stay. But, that's another blog for another day. ;-)

Anyway, if you ask yourself, "Why do I need this?", that answer will determine the importance and urgency of it. Usually, the things that we need will benefit, not only ourselves, but other people. For example, eating healthy is for you, but it can help you to live a longer and healthier life with the people you love and care for. Eating poorly can cut your life short and take you away from those people. So you don't "need" that burger, you just "want" it. Lol!

Life is, indeed, about choices. We choose to work hard for the things that we really want. We also choose to determine what we need. It is good to ask yourself how something will benefit you and someone else. It's also good to know what will be a detriment to your life and well being. It is a learning process, but if you learn it now, your future self will thank you later.

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