Day 1: The 1st Text
Him: Good morning, beautiful
Her: Awwwww. (lovey dovey emoji face) Thank you! Yes, it is a good morning!
Him: What ya got planned for today?
Her: Going to work then going to hang with my girls for a evening session of chats. Lol.
Later that day, after he didn't respond to your last text:
Her: Hey, you. Just got off of work. They whipped my butt today. Lol. What are you up to?
Him(almost immediately because he never was busy): Nothing much. About to link up with some of my guys for a bit. Might hit up a party or two later on. What are you on for the night?
(At this point, already, you start to question whether or not he's even genuinely interested in you because he didn't pay attention to your text from earlier. But you ignore your instincts and proceed texting)
Her: I was going to hang with some of my girls tonight.
Him: That's what's up? What time are you doing that?
Her: In a couple of hours or so. I won't be over there that long, though. I kind of wanted to chill tonight. (Translation: "I really wanted the first text to be you asking me out on a real date. I'd prefer a proper phone call, but because I like you, I'll take a text, at this point.)
Him: Oh, I feel you. I'll hit you up a lil later, though.
Her: Okay! Have a good time!(emoji face with sunglasses)
(He doesn't respond to that text, either.)
Later that night, while out with the girls:
(text message)
Him: wyd?
(Again, he has disregarded your previous messages by not paying attention to what you said you had going on.)
Her: I'm at one of my girlfriends houses. Just laughing and talking...about you(dorky emoji face). Lol. Just kidding. Are you guys tearing the house down? Dancing, that is. Lol.
Him: We are about to leave in a bit. I was seeing if you wanted to come chill.
Her(slightly nervous): Okay, sure. I bet you have that good cable.(silly emoji face) Lol. What time?
Him: Can you come now?
Her: Well, I just got to my friend's house not too long ago. I'd hate to leave so soon. How about in an hour or so?
(He doesn't text back)
Her(after waiting frantically for 9 whole minutes): Have you made it home yet?(Because a horrible car accident would have to be the reason that he wouldn't respond to your text, right?)
Him: Yea
Her: Did you still want me to come over?
(He doesn't respond)
21 minutes after she abruptly leaves her girls night that :
(Calls his phone. He doesn't answer. She calls 2 more times, back to back.)
(He texts her)
Him: I was in the other room. What's up?
Her(annoyed): Oh, okay. I was calling to let you know I was downstairs. (smiley face emoji)
I will end this story here. You can actually almost predict the ending of this story. These two end up in a "situationship". I define a "situationship" as a temporary attempt at a relationship that, ultimately, has no hope of ever being a true commitment or having a real foundation. The overall purpose is to try and fill a void of loneliness, sexual desires, low self-esteem, and boredom. This particular one is eventually kept alive by her constant effort to make something that was bad from the beginning work for her. She liked this guy, clearly, and once she got her chance to talk to him, she was not about to let it go. She ignored every single red flag that he threw her way. He did not call her. He only texted. He didn't pay attention to what she communicated in the text messages. And when he was done talking or didn't like her response, he simply did not text back. However, within the first few text messages from her, he detected her excitement to hear from him in the beginning and her willingness to drop everything and accommodate him toward the end. You can imagine that he used that to his advantage throughout the entire "situationship". This particular guy had no intentions of ever giving her what she really wanted. He was more interested in what he wanted and she showed him how to get it.
I don't fault the guy. She made it easy. She should have listened to her gut. Perhaps, she was the one who approached him. Perhaps, she spent most of their first encounter initiating a flirtatious exchange. Perhaps, she really did convey a message to him that was not who she really was, but she knew that would be the only thing to get his attention. Who knows?
Maybe this girl is just like you and me. Maybe, just like you and me, she was looking for love in all the wrong places. Maybe this girl had enough faith to believe that, just like the girls in the movies and the videos, she could make the fantasy work for her. But, maybe next time, she'll pay attention to those red flags and save herself some heartbreak...and even text messages. Maybe, just, maybe.
Him: Good morning, beautiful
Her: Awwwww. (lovey dovey emoji face) Thank you! Yes, it is a good morning!
Him: What ya got planned for today?
Her: Going to work then going to hang with my girls for a evening session of chats. Lol.
Later that day, after he didn't respond to your last text:
Her: Hey, you. Just got off of work. They whipped my butt today. Lol. What are you up to?
Him(almost immediately because he never was busy): Nothing much. About to link up with some of my guys for a bit. Might hit up a party or two later on. What are you on for the night?
(At this point, already, you start to question whether or not he's even genuinely interested in you because he didn't pay attention to your text from earlier. But you ignore your instincts and proceed texting)
Her: I was going to hang with some of my girls tonight.
Him: That's what's up? What time are you doing that?
Her: In a couple of hours or so. I won't be over there that long, though. I kind of wanted to chill tonight. (Translation: "I really wanted the first text to be you asking me out on a real date. I'd prefer a proper phone call, but because I like you, I'll take a text, at this point.)
Him: Oh, I feel you. I'll hit you up a lil later, though.
Her: Okay! Have a good time!(emoji face with sunglasses)
(He doesn't respond to that text, either.)
Later that night, while out with the girls:
(text message)
Him: wyd?
(Again, he has disregarded your previous messages by not paying attention to what you said you had going on.)
Her: I'm at one of my girlfriends houses. Just laughing and talking...about you(dorky emoji face). Lol. Just kidding. Are you guys tearing the house down? Dancing, that is. Lol.
Him: We are about to leave in a bit. I was seeing if you wanted to come chill.
Her(slightly nervous): Okay, sure. I bet you have that good cable.(silly emoji face) Lol. What time?
Him: Can you come now?
Her: Well, I just got to my friend's house not too long ago. I'd hate to leave so soon. How about in an hour or so?
(He doesn't text back)
Her(after waiting frantically for 9 whole minutes): Have you made it home yet?(Because a horrible car accident would have to be the reason that he wouldn't respond to your text, right?)
Him: Yea
Her: Did you still want me to come over?
(He doesn't respond)
21 minutes after she abruptly leaves her girls night that :
(Calls his phone. He doesn't answer. She calls 2 more times, back to back.)
(He texts her)
Him: I was in the other room. What's up?
Her(annoyed): Oh, okay. I was calling to let you know I was downstairs. (smiley face emoji)
I will end this story here. You can actually almost predict the ending of this story. These two end up in a "situationship". I define a "situationship" as a temporary attempt at a relationship that, ultimately, has no hope of ever being a true commitment or having a real foundation. The overall purpose is to try and fill a void of loneliness, sexual desires, low self-esteem, and boredom. This particular one is eventually kept alive by her constant effort to make something that was bad from the beginning work for her. She liked this guy, clearly, and once she got her chance to talk to him, she was not about to let it go. She ignored every single red flag that he threw her way. He did not call her. He only texted. He didn't pay attention to what she communicated in the text messages. And when he was done talking or didn't like her response, he simply did not text back. However, within the first few text messages from her, he detected her excitement to hear from him in the beginning and her willingness to drop everything and accommodate him toward the end. You can imagine that he used that to his advantage throughout the entire "situationship". This particular guy had no intentions of ever giving her what she really wanted. He was more interested in what he wanted and she showed him how to get it.
I don't fault the guy. She made it easy. She should have listened to her gut. Perhaps, she was the one who approached him. Perhaps, she spent most of their first encounter initiating a flirtatious exchange. Perhaps, she really did convey a message to him that was not who she really was, but she knew that would be the only thing to get his attention. Who knows?
Maybe this girl is just like you and me. Maybe, just like you and me, she was looking for love in all the wrong places. Maybe this girl had enough faith to believe that, just like the girls in the movies and the videos, she could make the fantasy work for her. But, maybe next time, she'll pay attention to those red flags and save herself some heartbreak...and even text messages. Maybe, just, maybe.
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