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4 Things To Consider If You're Okay With Being A Side Chick

Music is a universal language that has brought the masses together for centuries. It makes us dance, cry, shout, and think. Music has this amazing ability to fuse fantasy with reality. It has the ability to distort what's good and what just feels good. It can be sneaky.

But hey, as long as it has a good message, it gets heavy rotation in my phone. I listen to a variety of music because not all music is bad. But if you're not paying attention, you can recite lyrics that are no good for you. I've been out of the loop lately, but most music lovers know that one of the hottest albums of 2017 was Sza's Ctrl album. Everyone was singing, "Why you bother me when you know you don't want me?" as if they would get a solid answer. 

And then, here comes The Weekend. It seemed like Love Galore was the prelude to that song, asking, "Why you bother me when you know you got a woman?" I thought, "Oh, Lord. Here goes another side chick anthem." I don't know one woman that doesn't want to beat up a side chick just for breathing, but people keep singing this song and pushing it to the top of the charts! They keep singing! They keep dancing! But again, they'd be ready to fight the woman boasting about being their replacement every weekend.


I'm sure Sza is a sweet woman and all she wanted to do was make music. She meant no harm, right? Well, she's getting paid to convince you that being a side chick is the new normal. It's been around since forever, but it seems like women nowadays wear the title proudly. 


I just had to say something, y'all! It's getting out of hand. I could give a million reasons why being a side chick is lame *cough* I mean, inappropriate, but let's start with these. 
Here are 4 things to consider if you are okay with being a side chick:

We really need to stop glorifying side chicks!

What happened to the days when women aspired to be an actress or a model or just, I don't know, the next Oprah?! You can't really watch a reality TV show without some woman bragging about being with another woman's man. This woman always has some slick line that ends up circulating on IG or quoted in a grammatically challenged Facebook status. Stop making this woman popular! Her lifestyle shouldn't be #goals and her lack of respect for one woman is a lack of respect for you! Instead of encouraging her, try showing her what class and dignity looks like. Maybe that'll circulate her right out of the spotlight.

You can't complain that there are no good men when you employ bad ones.

If you've ever found yourself saying, "All men are dogs!" or " There aren't any good men left.", then you probably have no business bumping a song that encourages the lifestyle of a guy that schedules infidelity excursions. This guy can only do what you allow him to do and he's got it made when he has an in-house chef AND can come to your place for free meals when he wants to dine out. You can't be a part of the problem and be mad that the problem exists. If you want a good man, stop being an example for why there are bad ones. You attract what you are. So if you are okay with being a quick fix, then you will attract a man that's not looking for something that he has to invest a lot of time into. 

Treat her like you want to be treated.
Don't lie. Every woman, including you, wants a good, loyal, faithful man. We want to have someone that we can hold down because we know he holds us down. Some women say, "I don't care! I just want to get mine. I'm not thinking about his girl. He keeps coming back to me." The realization that you've stooped low enough to be proud of sleeping with somebody's man has, somehow, escaped your intelligent mind. You also managed to forget the saying, "How you get em is how you lose em". You know that once you're promoted to main chick, your side chick position is now open. That girl that you weren't thinking about when you were sleeping with her man has a good laugh when the next side chick is trying to take your spot 🎶on the weekennnnds🎶🎤🎼🎵 Hey, Sza. 👋

How about you respect yourself?

I'm pretty sure that enough has happened to all of us that has effected our self-esteem and caused us to trade self-respect for attention. I can relate so I'm not judging. But you have to get to the place where you realize you deserve more than a DM or a text from a guy who saves your number under the name "Pizza Hut😋" because he has a woman. You don't think you deserve better than that? You do! Being a side chick or side piece only gives you a piece of man's heart, but no peace in your own heart. Demonstrate to your daughter that she is worth being loved wholely, not partially. Teach your son that real men can love one woman a million ways and there's no need to have a million women to feel like a man. Respect yourself enough to pass it on to the next generation and show them what relationships should look like. Then, you'll attract a man that will respect you enough to love you as his one and only. Not on the side of someone else.

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